Wisdom Sister Circle Recap (September 2012)

Save The Date:
Oct. 27, 2012 5:30-8:30pm. 
Menu: Italian (Yumm!) - See Below

 

Last Month's Topic: Are you Angry and You Don't Even Know It?

 

OMG - September's Wisdom Sister Circle was So Deep!

We opened as I shared how I recently exploded in anger in front of people I both love and respect...at church, no less. After the incident, I was embarrassed and ashamed, but it forced me to acknowledge the cavern of anger that I had allowed to grow within me.

There was SO MUCH meat on that bone! We all learned a lot and we came to the conclusion that all (but one) of us were dealing with some sort of repressed anger. Needless to say, forgiveness was the order of the day!

One of the things we learned right off was that when anger grows within you, it grows from many different sources and displays itself in many different ways. That's why it's important that we search for the real root of it all.

As it began, we acknowledged that there are a lot of reasons why people are angry. But as I shared my story, we quickly discovered a common thread among us. Most of our anger grows because we are not being completely honest. We're not telling the truth...the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Instead, we choose to either repress the truth altogether, beat around the bush, drop hints, temper the truth or hold back. But why? Why don't we just speak up?

Here are some of the reasons that we came up with.

• I don't want to hurt someone else's feelings.
• I don't want my own feelings hurt.
• I feel that I'm required to 'participate' but I don't have a voice.
• I don't want to be invalidated, ridiculed or misunderstood.
• I don't want to be told that I'm being too sensitive.
• I don't want to be dismissed.
• I don't want to be made to feel insecure.
• They can't handle it (the truth). They can dish it but they just can't take it.
• I don't want a confrontation or to be on the receiving end of a tantrum.
• I don't want to be attacked.
• I don't want to have to explain my feelings.
• I don't want to damage or lose the relationship.
• The list went on and on...

What we realized is that we all have perfected the Art of Mis-Communication. Why? Because it's safer and leads to less OUTWARD conflict. But the truth of the matter is, the conflict still exists within us and with every opportunity that we resist the need to tell the truth (in love), we're allowing anger and resentment to grow within us.

And so to deal with it, we tell ourselves that it's ok for 'me' to change to accommodate you, rather than set a boundary, tell you the truth, in love, and then commit to honoring that boundary regardless of how 'I' am received.

The truth and the root of it all is that we are AFRAID! And our resistance to confront our own fears builds anger within us.

We must learn that we create more anger within us when we:

• withhold the truth or don't tell the whole truth...in love
• do not deal with or address the things that upset/frustrate us in the moment.
• do not set boundaries and when we do not honor our own boundaries.
• do not correct people when they cross our boundaries.
• do not say no when we need to.
• allow ourselves to feel like we're being taken advantage of without speaking up.  

Read more from The Self Love Lessons

Don't Stuff That Stuff - P. 283
Unforgiveness - P. 360

Queenie's Nuggets of Wisdom

• You have a choice to set boundaries in your life.
• You have a choice to be in relationship with people...You do! Even with your parents. You must honor them, but you don't have to always be intimately intertwined relationally with them.
• You have the obligation to protect yourself. After all - you have an assignment to accomplish!
• You don't have to be subjected to abuse from anybody.
• Some people are in the wrong place in our lives. That's why they hurt us so much. You get to decide who is in your inner court and who belongs in your outer court.  (Remember: Proper people placement prevents problems.)
• You cannot subject yourself to abusive relationships (friendships or love relationships) constantly and think that that's ok. God doesn't want that for you. That's not love. That's not loving you and that's not loving the person that you are in relationship with, because you're teaching them that it's ok to treat you (and others) like this.

So, What's the Truth?

Emotionally, we all have to become more mature. It is our responsibility to set some boundaries and tell the truth...In LOVE.

How do we do that? Well that's the topic of Next Month's Wisdom Sister Circle. You're welcome to join us!

Oct. 27, 2012 5:30-8:30pm. (Doors open at 5:00)
Special Treat for Early Arrivals 

7131 Thoreau Circle, Atlanta, GA 30349  (678-568-3063)

Potluck Dinner: Italian (YUMMM!)
Salad	Bethany
Garlic Bread Sticks	LaQuanna
Drinks	Kimmie
Bread with Dipping Sauce	Cheryl
Baked Ziti	Sonia
White Lasagna with Spinach & Turkey	Yetta
Dessert: Buckeyes	Jasmine
Drinks	Kimmie
	Rich
	Pat
Add a dish of your choice.

We’ll see you there and remember to RSVP to (Queenie@ImLovingMe.com) and Bring a Friend!

Hugz, Queenie

Click here to see the original invite.

The Challenge Continues: Share The Love

The ladies had such a good time at last month's live event that they created a challenge for one another: Everyone should bring at least 1 friend to the next Wisdom Sister Circle! (Oct 27, 2012 @ 5:30pm). AND whoever brings the most friends will win a gift. I LOVE the enthusiasm ladies. Let's All Share The Love!

See you all on 10/27/12! Be prompt and remember to REPLY to RSVP and bring a friend.
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The Ladies are Talking! (Check out the Testimonies)

Coming to the Wisdom Sister Circle tonight was such a blessing. Talking about how fear is the root of a lot of the reasons we harbor anger and resentment. Talking about those reasons openly and understanding how vital it is that we do not ignore issues or think that you can pretend that they will go away was truly a blessing. Understanding true forgiveness was so relative to me understanding the changes I need to make to grow in this area. I'm so excited about what God has been showing me through The Self Love Lessons book and our Wisdom Sister Circle meetings. I just love you so so much. Sonia.

Tonight's lesson made me realize how much I have grown but I still need to remember that I have to renew my mind to stay unbound by people and what they do & say. Still believing God for being out of people bondage. Bethany

Before attending the Wisdom Sister Circle I gave great thought to the judgements others placed on me and what others thoughts I should be. I have for many years defended myself and the love and acceptance I have for myself only to realize I have been meditating on the negative. If the Holy Spirit places health, love and other blessings in my life, who am I to let me and others discredit those blessings. I choose to love myself and others and believe the word of God!!! Jasmine

Coming to the Wisdom Sister Circle has really been a blessing. I have been praying that I'd be around like-minded women who follow Christ. It was truly an answered prayer. I look forward to learning and growing with this beautiful group of women. Kimmie

This has shown me that I am still hurting from the pain that my ex-best friend, husband and father caused. I still hold on because I was afraid of how they would take how I feel and instead of me talking to them, I cut them off. I appreciate the session today for showing me my inner thoughts and feelings that are still unexpressed. Yetta

During the session, I could not think of someone who I was currently angry with, but I was able to reflect back to a time in which I was angry and relate. I truly believe this will help me in the future not to hold onto what I am feeling but to voice my concern in love for them, but mostly for the love of myself! Anonymous